


nemo me impune lacessit

by SnailArmy



Category: The Mechanisms (Band)
Genre: Gen, Octokittens - Freeform, buried alive (attempted), he's fine in the end i promise, jonny bullies marius asmr, nastya makes an appearance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-22
Updated: 2020-05-22
Packaged: 2021-03-02 23:41:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,326
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24315205
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SnailArmy/pseuds/SnailArmy
Summary: Jonny has had just about enough of Marius, and resolves to do something about it.Fic based on "The Cask of Amontillado" by Edgar Allen Poe.
Comments: 14
Kudos: 91
Collections: Stowaways' Shenanigans





	nemo me impune lacessit

Jonny d'Ville had put up with Marius for far too long. The man may have been intelligent, but he was a buffoon; and his latest insult to Jonny's captainhood had gone too far. Jonny had made his displeasure extremely clear, and still Marius cavorted about as if nothing was wrong. Clearly, a different approach was needed. 

Marius had several weak points, chief among them his caring demeanor and his insistence on trusting people. It would only be fitting to use those very aspects to orchestrate his downfall. And so Jonny plotted, planned, schemed, and acquired from Ashes an arc welder. 

It was about dusk, or as near as the Aurora's internal lighting system could approximate it, when Jonny sprung his plan. Marius was walking back to the med bay after a rousing game of hide-and-seek with the Toy Soldier, wearing as always his ridiculous outfit. He had _playing cards_ tucked in the brim of his helmet, for gods' sake. He didn't even have a gambling motif! If anyone was going to use playing cards as a fashion statement, it should be Jonny!

But he mustn't allow himself to get distracted. He could hear the faint jingling of the other man's boot belts coming around the corner; it was time to spring his plan into action. 

"Oh, Marius, my good man! Listen, I can't stay and talk long, I think I found a new species of octokitten and I need to talk to Ivy about it."

"A new species of octokitten? Here, on the ship?" His eyes lit up at the prospect - the sheer enthusiasm radiating off of him was nearly enough to make Jonny sick. 

"Well, I'm not entirely sure, which is why I have to go find Ivy. Or maybe Tim, he knows a lot about the little fuckers." 

"A new species!"

"I have my doubts."

"Of octokitten!"

"But you're busy, of course, I should go talk to Raphaella. She's a woman of science, after all."

"Raphaella doesn't know the difference between an octokitten and a stowaway."

"I would argue that she's a better judge of it than you are, Baron Not-a-Doctor." 

"Come on, I'm not doing anything. I want to go see the new octokitten!"

"I don't know, it could be dangerous. There are a _lot_ of octokittens down there." 

"I'll be fine! Pleeease will you show me the new octokitten?" The pleading was, frankly, a bit much, but Jonny knew it was in earnest. Marius had taken the bait hook, line, and sinker. 

Jonny pretended to deliberate for a few moments before capitulating. "Oh, alright, as long as you're sure it's no bother." 

Marius didn't bother replying, just flashed that too-genuine grin again and took Jonny's arm as he began to lead him deeper into the Aurora. Jonny had given explicit orders to the other mechanisms to be in this part of the ship in case he needed their help; needless to say, they would be anywhere but. 

Marius' gait was unsteady, almost bouncy, as they traversed the corridors of the Aurora, and the buckles of his boot belts jingled as they took a short staircase. 

"So where exactly is this octokitten?" Marius asked after a bit. 

"It's a ways away," Jonny replied; "but look, there are a couple of the buggers watching us now."

Sure enough, several pairs of eyes stared out at the pair from the shadows, and gentle oozing sounds could be heard over the hum of Aurora's engines. 

Without warning, one of them fell from the ceiling onto Marius' shoulder and began to nibble at his neck. For several minutes he was overcome with laughing as the thing tickled his neck and chin with it's tiny teeth and furry tentacles. Eventually, Jonny pulled it off, but Marius was breathless and panting. 

"We can go back if you'd like, I don't want you risking your life for something as trivial as a new species of octokitten. Besides, I'm sure Ivy--"

"No!" Marius interrupted. "No, it's fine. The octokittens don't bother me; it's not like they're going to kill me."

"Fair enough," Jonny replied, pulling out a flask from his bandolier of guns and harmonicas. "A drink, to restore your health?" 

"Oh, I couldn't possibly-"

"Suit yourself." Jonny raised the flask to his lips and drank deeply. 

Once again, they started walking, Jonny half a step ahead of his companion. They passed various junctions, arches, and staircases, going ever downward into the heart of the ship. 

After nearly an hour of walking, they came to a narrow passage, the air in the corridor dank from disuse. There were even more octokittens here, including a large writhing pile to one side. Along one wall was a door; Jonny opened it and gestured inside, but it was too dark to see further than a few feet. 

"I found it right down here. You go first."

"Shouldn't we turn the lights on or something?"

"You'll scare it away. Just go in." 

"Okay!" 

Marius walked into the darkness, hands held slightly in front of him to feel the way. Jonny indulged in a vicious grin before following him inside. 

"Are you sure it's in here? I can't see anything!"

"One hundred percent. Just keep going."

Marius hit the wall with a dull _thud_ and turned around. Jonny was waiting with the shackles and clicked them deftly onto his wrists. 

"Jonny? What's going on?"

"I made you a friendship bracelet."

"Oh! Thank you! But where's the new species of octokitten?"

"I'm not sure, it must have run off. You stay right here and I'll see if I can find it."

"Okay Jonny!"

Just a few steps backwards and Jonny was out of the closet. He couldn't help but laugh as he closed and latched the door. He pulled away the pile of octokittens to reveal the arc welder placed here for just this purpose, and fired it up. 

"Jonny?"

The door and frame were both steel alloys; it shouldn't take too long to seal the entire door. He started at the bottom. 

"Jonny!"

From the other side of the door came the muffled rattle of boot belt buckles. 

"I know what you're doing, Jonny. I thought you were better than this." 

"Clearly, you don't know me at all." 

He was about a quarter of the way up the door now. The bright shower of sparks had attracted even more octokittens, though for now they stayed to the corners of the room. 

"I'm not mad at you, Jonny. I'm just disappointed."

"You and my dad both." 

"Do you want to talk about your father? I have a doctorate in psychology. I can help you work through this."

"I've seen your doctorate, Marius, and it's from a place just called 'Doctor School.' I'll pass." 

The job was nearly finished now. Jonny had to stand on his tiptoes to reach the top of the doorframe, but reach it he did. Marius called out one last time from inside. 

"For fuck's sake, Jonny!"

"Yes, Marius! For the sake of fuck!"

With that, Jonny's work was complete. The weld was sloppy, but it would hold, and it's not like anyone would see it save the octokittens. Satisfied, he turned around. 

Only to be greeted by the extremely disappointed face of Nastya. 

"Jonny."

"Nastya."

"What are you doing." It wasn't a question, but Jonny felt obligated to answer anyway.

"Would you believe me if I said I was lost?"

"No."

"Damn."

They stood in silence for a long moment, glaring at each other. 

"You're a terrible engineer," Nastya said at last.

"I know."

"And an even worse friend."

At this, Jonny was silent. He stared at her for a moment more before lowering his head and walking away. 

With a sigh, Nastya pulled out her angle grinder and got to work freeing Marius. Well, her intention wasn't freeing Marius so much as it was removing Jonny's shitty defacement of her girlfriend, but that didn't really matter to Marius. 

_In pace requiescat_ indeed.


End file.
